As you may have noticed by the fact that you’re still alive, the Mayan Apocalypse didn’t happen. That may be good news unless you did something unfortunate without a condom last night because you thought the world was about to end.
A group of sexy singles in Manhattan are determined to get lucky before the predicted end of the world on Friday — and if the Mayans are right then they’ll go on with a bang!
“If I die, I don’t want to die on a dry spell!” pledged swimsuit model Niki Ghazian, who told the New York Post that she plans to attend a Doomsday Eve party in the hope of hooking up with a hottie for one final time.
…“Everybody should go out feeling satisfied,” said the pretty blonde. “If the world’s gonna end, why hold back?”
The horny rampage hitting the city on Thursday night has been prompted by the ancient Mayan calendar, which predicts the world will end on December 21, 2012, at 11:11 a.m., and is fueled by the very modern phenomena of social media.
“I will be looking for an end-of-the-world hook-up,” said Dennis Cintron, 29, a bartender in NYC’s Lower East Side. “If you’re going to go out, go out with a bang.”
Dozens of bars and clubs in the Big Apple are throwing apocalyptic bashes, and Craigslist and OKCupid.com are filled with no-strings-attached offers of illicit hookups, “casual encounters” and even “end of the world sex.”
Liberal Manhattanites may be willing to abort the child that results from no strings sex and end-of-the-world sex that they had in an alley behind a “Doomsday Eve Party” last night, but you can’t abort herpes.
PS: If someone is reading this post in 2082, I want him to be aware that my personal calendar ends in 2081. Feel free to freak out now, futureman.